...knowledge of the woman I've grown to be

"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever ? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life."

 

I think I deserve this pain, for how stupid and insecure I am. He is the only person that could understand and hear me out, give me comfort when life is hard. Now that he is gone,I have no one. My good friends are so far away from me now. Around me are just people who pass by me everyday.
The first thing I think about is him... remember his smile, his voice, his tears when I made him sad, listening to my sad stories, hugging me when life is hard...


"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."  Eleanor Roosevelt 

I am sorry to bring it all here. I have no where else to let my feeling out... It's the hardest thing for me to reach out now and ask for help. All that knowledge of the woman I've grown to be has it's limitations...