Monday, November 28

I never thought

“I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but thank you. Because if you hadn’t of come along, I never would have learned that my worst day could also have been my best. Because when a heart breaks, it also opens; and once a heart opens any number of things can happen, and some of them can be wonderful.”
There's nothing else I can say...

I'm happy

I'm focussing on me and getting to know myself better.  I'm happy right where I am.

Maybe I have failed more often than I have succeeded but I can pick myself up, hold my head high and move forward.

Because I’m telling you that from this great fall, I’ve come a long way and I love my life now more than ever thought possible.

 So smile, laugh, forgive, believe, and love, all over again.

Wednesday, November 23

...knowledge of the woman I've grown to be

"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever ? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life."
 
I think I deserve this pain, for how stupid and insecure I am. He is the only person that could understand and hear me out, give me comfort when life is hard. Now that he is gone,I have no one. My good friends are so far away from me now. Around me are just people who pass by me everyday.
The first thing I think about is him... remember his smile, his voice, his tears when I made him sad, listening to my sad stories, hugging me when life is hard...


"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."  Eleanor Roosevelt 

I am sorry to bring it all here. I have no where else to let my feeling out... It's the hardest thing for me to reach out now and ask for help. All that knowledge of the woman I've grown to be has it's limitations...

Wednesday, November 16

Too often ...


Too often we underestimate the power of:

  • a touch
  • a smile
  • a kind word
  • a listening ear
  • an honest compliment
  • the smallest act of caring

…all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

– Leo Buscaglia

Tuesday, November 8

Why not :)

The quizziest quiz this side of Quizville ..

1) smoked weed or cigs:  YES, Cigarettes
2) consumed alcohol: YES
3) slept in the same bed with some one of the opposite sex: YES
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex: YES
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex: YES
6) made out with someone of the same sex: NO
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex: YES
8) watched porn: YES
9) bought porn: NO
10) done drugs: NO
Total: 7

11) taken pain killers: YES
12) taken someone elses prescription medicine: YES
13) lied to your parents: YES
14) lied to a friend: YES
15) snuck out of the house: YES
16) done something illegal: YES
17) cut yourself: NO
18) hurt someone: YES
19) wished someone to die: YES
20) seen someone die: NO
Total: 8

21) missed curfew: YES
22) stayed out all night: YES
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself: NO
24) been to a therapist: YES
25) been to rehab: NO
26) dyed your hair: YES
27) received a ticket: YES
28) been in a wreck: YES
29) been to a club: YES
Total: 7

31) been to a wild party: YES
32) seen the Mardi Gras: NO, Who ?
33) drank more than four beers in a night: NO
34) had a summer break in Florida: NO
35) sniffed anything: : NO
36) wore black nail polish: NO
37) wore arm bands: YES
38) wore t-shirts with band names: YES
39) listened to rap: YES
40) own a 50 cent cd: NO

Total: 4

41) dressed gothic: YES
42) dressed prep: YES
43) dressed punk: YES
44) dressed grunge: YES
45) stole something: YES
46) been too drunk to remember anything: YES
47) blacked out: YES
48) fainted: YES
49) had a crush on your neighbor: YES
50) had someone sneak into your room: NO
Total: 9

51) snuck into someone else's room: NO
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex: NO
53) been to a concert: YES
54) dry humped someone: YES
55) been called a slut: NO
56) called someone a slut: YES
57) installed speakers in your car: YES
58) broke a mirror: YES
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house: YES
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush: YES
Total: 7

61) consider ludacris your favorite rapper: NO
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters: YES
63) cruised the mall: YES
64) skipped school: YES
65) had an eating disorder: NO
66) had an injury: YES
67) gone to court: YES
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying: NO
69) caught something on fire: YES
70) lied about your age: NO
Total: 6

71) owned an apartment: YES
72) cheated on: YES
73) been cheated on: YES
74) got in trouble with the police: NO
75) talked to a stranger: YES
76) hugged a stranger: YES
77) kissed a stranger: YES
78) rode in the car with a stranger: YES
79) been sexually harassed: YES
80) been verbally harassed: YES
Total: 9

81) met face to face with someone you met online: YES
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight: YES
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight: YES
84) watched tv for 12 hours straight: YES
85) been to a fair: YES
86) been called a bad influence: YES
87) cursed: YES
88) prank called someone: YES
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex: YES
90) cheated on a test: YES
Total: 10

91) cheated on homework: YES
92) received/given a handjob: YES
93) been pushed into a pool: YES
94) played pool: YES
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight: NO
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older then you: NO
97) had a crush on someone younger: YES
98) wear eyeliner: YES
99) skinny dipped: NO
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt: NO
Total: 6

TOTAL: 73
I'm Badder Than Bad Ass ...Huh? Really? LOL

0-10= Girly
10-15= Preppy
15-24= A little cool..
25-30= Cool
31-50= Bad Ass
61-70= Rock Star
71-80= Badder Then Bad Ass
81-90= Must Be Italian
91-100= Going to meet Hitler