A kind of destiny

Some people find me cold or emotionally detached because I live in my mind, not in my emotions and feelings... It might be hard to pin down how I am feeling because I easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when I am not well but if they confront me about it, I would rather retreat than talk about it.


Have you ever done something for someone, not expecting anything in return? I do it all the time...  Helping people in need is a good and essential part of my life, a kind of destiny. We never know when some small kindness will forever make a difference in the lives of total strangers ... even without recognition ... will create a trail of miracles...
I know you will say don’t waste your time on people who don’t appreciate it ...

The thing is my self-worth and self-confidence drains down into bare, well, mush…and an inability to accept the greatness that I naturally have. I live vicariously through others.

When I give a per­son something, am I really expect­ing some­thing back from them? Maybe yes, maybe no... For me sin­cerely mak­ing a per­son feel bet­ter is what I am expect­ing. If that per­son feels bet­ter due to me giv­ing them, then I feel bet­ter. It actu­ally makes life more enjoy­able for me and I’m sure the person receiv­ing the gift.

Do you know what I mean? Or am I really just being overly… weird … on this one?